Sadly, I must seek alternative insurance for my 4-wheel drive machine: State Farm is now officially excluding nuclear attack and radioactive damages to the vehicles on their policies. How am I to support terrorism without coverage for my SUV? It just seems... un-American. Oh, and the new Ministry cd is terrible.

The new Ministry cd is terrible. And the new Project Pitchfork cd isn't so great either. Music sucks now.

Fine, I'll tell you. I saw movies this weekend.

Daredevil
Bah! Matrix meets Spiderman and produces Ben Affleck in tights. The guy that threw stuff around was good for maybe three laughs; only that chick from Alias kept me around though.

Chicago
For the past few hours I've been trying to invent a word that adequately conveys the sense of tedium, ennui, and mild despair aroused by the onset of the next song in a musical film. Perhaps not every musical inspires this feeling every five minutes the way Chicago does, but not every musical is so totally devoid of plot and substance that it must fill in the gaping holes with noise noise noise. Between songs I was desperate for plot, for some kind of engaging hook, something -- anything -- to make the next song bearable, but always went into the next dance routine starving for a reason not to dance out of the theater. This tripe gets 9000 Academy Award nominations while Farscape is cancelled. TANJ*!

One Hour Photo
Pretty thin story for a whole movie. Robin Williams was good as a guy I don't want to know. Nicely worked trigger for his psychotic break. That's about it.

Whoa, the new Six Feet Under is on now -- yes! Thank God that not everything sucks! Not yet anyway....

*TANJ = There Aint No Justice, coined by Larry Niven

So sad ist mir! I just watched the final episode of Farscape (which some maniac sent me). SPOILER: if they had just cut the last one or two minutes it would have had a happy (albeit not fully resolved) ending, but then Protag has to fall off the edge of that cliff again. Happily it was a pretty kludged ending and the cliffhanger had nothing to do with the plot of the episode. All in all mostly satisfying.

I hate when a series ends without the opportunity to fully resolve itself (I'll always be tormented by the knowledge that Special Agent Dale Cooper is still trapped in the Black Lodge while his body remains possessed by Bob the evil spirit).

But then there's this, which contains an allusion to an upcoming Farscape movie....

I'm still trying to figure out the point of the ending to Farscape. [SPOILER] I realize television producers (for whatever misguided reason) feel compelled to end any given season with a cliffhanger, but taken out of that context -- ie taken only as the final scene to the series -- what can be made of it? That the universe is cruel and arbitrary? That John Crichton will never find peace away from Earth? Or should there be some pseudo-post-modern twist applied: that Crichton and Aeryn are now lifeless data, billions of bouncing bits out in the ether of some alien landscape forever to be reviewed but never to be restored? Perhaps the creepy many-eyed alien that attacked them can then be seen as Bonnie Hammer, boss and head show-killer at the Sci-Fi Channel.... Cruel and arbitrary indeed.

What becomes of us the moment we become that thing we believe ourselves to be?

<p>Here they are, the top 5 search requests to this site: </p><p>145 requests: "how+to+make+paint" <br />132 requests: "total+recorder+crack" <br />102 requests: "games+on+line+free" <br />102 requests: "starry+night+pro+crack+download" <br />102 requests: "turkish+muslim+porn+stars" </p>Yes, it turns out this is a warez/pr0n/DIY site. Who knew.

<p>Well now that I've thought about it, I'll answer the other google requests: </p>1. Go to Sears. <br />2. Buy the license, it's a good program <br />3. alt.binaries.games <br />4. What is this? <br />5. What are you some kind of freak? Do they even have turkish muslim porn stars?

Oh and this is how to make paint: GO TO SEARS.

Three episodes of Six Feet Under so far this season, and it sort of honestly sucks so far: the most interesting and entertaining character, Brenda, has been glaringly absent; I'm really not very interested in the trials and travails of the gay romance; Nate's marriage and fatherhood is a nightmare I'd rather hide from than spectate; and the mom woman is as always dull. This saddens me. It's the only decent TV show left, it *has* to be good, it *has* to get better.... Or else.

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" --Jacques Chirac, commenting on French history.

War w/ Mesopotamia is now a certainty, the dictator Sargon arrogantly defiant towards his vastly more powerful foe as the world waits anxiously for D-Day, H-Hour. First there is the hour of Ultimatum: 01:00 GMT, 8.5 hours from now, on which the fate of the dictator and his spawn is sealed. There is short time for capitulation, and honor demands they refuse. Their braggadocio begs to boost the morale of a people whose loyalty has always been in question. Has it ever been so quiet in the streets they thought their own, in the desert they thought their guardian? So many years spent evading so many predators for it to come--so suddenly it seems now--to this moment, when all might veer towards the ending, the charade over, the unthinkable thought. None of the miracles they'd prayed for, none of the contingencies they'd been promised have come to pass, and now there is but to wait. Alea jacta est. The dice are tossed.

Kudos to CNN (of all things) for having the sense to keep their mouths shut during the uber-bombing today. All the other networks felt compelled to chatter instead of letting the sounds of the explosions and anti-aircraft fire speak for themselves.

Something I've been hearing in regard to the Iraqi's setting fire to their oil: "Crimes Against Nature". Surely we don't want a djinni like that out of its bottle....

I lay in a semi-vegetative state most of last night staring goggle-eyed at the coverage of the 7th Cav and the 3ID armored columns rolling into Iraq. Typically one might not be so fascinated by the actual images: lots of desert, some trucks and tanks, some wrecks and ruins, some Bedouin with their goats, grimy journalists having the thrill of their lives; but just for a moment grasp what's being shown, an army -- a big army -- under immediate threat of attack, moving into enemy territory in order to wage war, and you're set for another 2 or 3 hours. Very dramatic, and it was one of those things that can only be fully appreciated when seen live. Tonight should bring more or better.

Anti-kudos (of all things) to CNN for allowing Aaron Brown to drone on and on with his lugubrious pontifications while the "embedded" journalists in the field had information to report. CNN has done a great job hiring and placing these guys into difficult positions, and they've been doing an outstanding job; it's inexplicable that a long and pointless rumination about the Vietnam War with Gen. Wesley Clark (RET) should have taken precedence over their work.

Anti-kudos (I really need a better word than this) to the great majority of the media for thoroughly and embarrassingly misunderstanding the concept of "Shock and Awe", and thus abusing the term to the point of irony. "Shock and Awe" is the intended effect upon the leadership of the enemy, and NOT upon the viewers of CNN et al. But the media has now trained its audience to question whether or not what it's seeing has produced the sensations of shock and awe within themselves (and no doubt coming up short given the Hollywood jadedness of most viewers). Typical ego-centricity. See here for a discussion of "Shock and Awe".

Anti-judos to the American war protestors: you had your shot before it started; now nothing positive can come from your complaints. It's time for solidarity. It's time to behave as rational adults.

IF Saddam Hussein was indeed in that bunker that was bombed on 3/19, AND he's not dead, THEN SOME HEADS SHOULD ROLL! They KNEW Saddam had that uber-bunker, they even knew who built it for him; they should have KNOWN exactly HOW MUCH ordinance it would take to penetrate it. Then they should have DOUBLED that amount. Then they should have dropped double THAT amount. This was too important to risk allowing him to get out alive; God knows what sacrifices had to be made by the operatives who gained that priceless intelligence. God knows what the difference in the shape of this war would be with him dead vs. alive.

Kudos to me for studiously ignoring the academy awards.

People are understandably upset by the POW/morgue video produced by Dr. al-Mengele and his crew of merry gangsters. It's understandable, but nobody expected the Iraqis to behave like spectators at Wimbledon. Of greater concern in my opinion is the employment of the old Surrender Ruse (much loved by barbarians throughout history when facing an honorable foe). This can only greatly shorten the time a marine takes to think before shooting. Which results in a greater reluctance on the part of the enemy to surrender, which results in higher numbers of combatants, which results in an uglier war.

Meanwhile Martin Sheen rages, insisting he has been disobeyed: "Why are there bombs falling?! I said there would be NO WAR!"

And I assume that piece of garbage Chicago will win Best Picture, proving finally that the Academy Awards are about as relevant now as France.

And on the television:

Interviewer: Who lit the oil wells on fire?

Iraqi Ambassador: We continue to affirm that this is not oil, this is just a small part of oil, we have been saying this for weeks.

And the barbarians empty their AK magazines into the Tigris River in their steadfast commitment to follow the Geneva Conventions. And the spectators jump around and clap their hands and sing happy songs.

I've said it before: screw it; nuke the world; who needs anyone anyway?

Indeed, Chicago is Best Picture and that child-molester Polanski is Best Director. That loudmouth Michael Moore got to rant and rave about guns or something. And a big room full of narcissists got to yank each other in public for 4 hours. The only decent film even nominated, Gangs of New York, got completely ignored.

Hollywood should just move to France and get it over with.

Somebody told me that we Americans only learn about distant places by waging wars in them. Which is more or less true, but if those places can come up with some other way to make them interesting we're willing to listen.

I'm not a military strategist, but it seems the flaw with the Shock And Awe military strategy is the contingencies it allows in case of incomplete success. It reminds me of the scene in Star Wars where Han Solo and Chewbacca chase a squad of Storm Troopers down a Death Star corridor, then immediately find themselves chased the other way after the Storm Troopers come to their senses. (Incidentally I'm happy to report the word "Chewbacca" is in the MSWord dictionary. So is MSWord.)

I'm not a political historian but it seems the problem with installing democracy in an Arab nation is that the people would immediately vote into office somebody who would immediately abandon democracy.

I'm not a military tactician, but if every time we declare Umm Qasar secure it then gets attacked, maybe we should just secure it and not tell anyone. Could be the enemy is using our media for intelligence?

I'm not a mass psychologist, but if people really expected this war to be over in a week, in a day, then they are really really stupid. People with a limited understanding of chess cannot understand why games between Grandmasters and novices or amateurs typically take as long as those between two Grandmasters. The reason is that there is a right way to play chess and a wrong way; a Grandmaster of the game could not possibly play it in the wrong way, and the right way takes more time. Similarly, the American media, much of the public, as well as the US stock market cannot seem to understand why the war isn't over by now. The reason is that the generals are following a sound strategy plotted on a timeline: they are doing it the right way.

I'm not a cultural sociologist, but it seems to me that Arabs angry at the behavior of the US for attacking their "Arab brothers", should also be ashamed of those brothers' behavior during this war. Granted one might be driven to extreme measures in defending one's country (or in the mistaken belief of doing so, depending on your politics), but the reported tactics of Saddam's defenders, the Iraqi military command, the Republican Guard, and the "Fedayeen Saddam" (aka Saddam's Nutters aka the Saddamites) are disgusting and despicable, demonstrating how far that collection of Stalinist Nazi-wanna-bes have detoured from the basic and intrinsic principles of humanity and honor. They've used human shields to defend their military. They've apparently executed POWs and used them for media exploitation. They've engaged in perfidy by falsely surrendering and using the surrender of others as opportunity for attack. They have donned civilian clothes and enemy uniforms. They have even danced around and sung happy songs on TV (okay, this one just offends my sense of dignity). They've shown no reluctance to kill the very people they are supposed to be defending. I feel toward them now the same as I feel toward the Palestinians: not even pity.

I'm not Godzilla or able to stop time but if I were then that would be really cool.

Proposition: Protesting the war both prolongs its duration and jeopardizes the lives of the soldiers fighting it.

1.
Premise: A great portion of a soldier's MORALE is dependant upon the conviction that they are doing the right thing; i.e. that they fight a JUST WAR.

Premise: A soldier's sense of fighting a JUST WAR is largely dependant upon the opinion of the war held by people at home.

Inference: People at home who hold protests against the war and call it an UNJUST WAR serve to undermine a soldier's MORALE.

2.
Premise: A soldier with LOW MORALE will not fight as hard, will not focus as intently upon his or her job, and thus will make mistakes.

Premise: An army that does not fight as hard as it can will take longer to resolve the conflict in which it is engaged.

Premise: Mistakes in war cost lives.

Inference: LOW MORALE jeopardizes both the speedy conclusion of the war and the lives of the troops fighting it.

1+2.
Inference: PROTESTING the war jeopardizes both its speedy conclusion and the lives of the troops fighting it.

Conclusion: Protesting the war both prolongs its duration and jeopardizes the lives of the soldiers fighting it.

Corollary: support for the soldiers fighting a war is not separable from support for the war itself; i.e. it is impossible to support the soldiers and not also support the war.

[Note: the capitalized terms employ assumed definitions]

<p>Q: We've seen a lot of photographs of bombed buildings in London. Is it not true that most -- if not <b>all</b> -- of your bombs have gone terribly off course and killed innocent British children?</p><p>A: All of our precision munitions are capable of hitting their targets within feet of where they are aimed.</p><p>Q: So you admit to targeting British children with your bombs?</p><p>A: That is absolutely not the case. Next question, yes?</p><p>Q: Sir, no disrespect intended, but is it not true that you are an idiot?</p><p>A: Well now I don't believe that kind of--</p><p>Q: But clearly 90% of your entire army has been destroying by the Iraqi Resistance.</p><p>A: That just isn't the case, I don't know how you--</p><p>Q: Viva la Resistance!</p><p>A: Next question please, okay you sir.</p><p>Q: Ishlak Bumbalia of the Bumbalania Weeking Bumbliak. When will you show us video of Coalition troops eating young Iraqi boys?</p><p>A: I assure you that would never happen. Next question please.</p><p>Q: Why do you believe any of us are here in this billion dollar briefing room? I mean what's the <b>value proposition</b> of my asking you a question and then you answering the question and then somebody else asking a question and then you answering the question and then somebody else asking a question and then you answering the question and then somebody else asking you a question and then you answering the question and so on?</p><p>[clapping from audience]</p><p>Also, we all agree that this war is actually the Vietnam War.</p>A: Well, to answer your first question first--